help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize