Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
