it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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