i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
