Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
