sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
