Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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