One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
