Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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