It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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