we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
