I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
