We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So vagazzling was a success
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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