Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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