Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
