And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
