Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
