YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
