Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
