Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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