I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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