Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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