i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
