you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
