so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
