Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
