I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
