Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize