I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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