If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
