OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
