Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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