i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
