woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize