Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
