Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Randomize
