you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
time to smoke my breakfast
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Houston, we have a squirter
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
