fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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