He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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