Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
