i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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