OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
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