Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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