For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I seem to have left my pride at pride
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize