new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
