i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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