Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
our cab driver is having phone sex.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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