i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
As shirtless as possible
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
