I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
