Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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