well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize