is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
