dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize