I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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