I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
