Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
