i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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