DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
